R-E-S-P-E-C-T

O.K. Aretha Franklin isn't the only one who can sing it. I've taken a long, hard look at how others (and myself) respect me. And, frankly, it's unsettling. This all came about a few days ago as a result of a knock-down blow out I had with a certain teenager who shall remain nameless here. That punk had the audacity to call me immature! Other degrading insults (like "you're too nice") were hurled at me with lazer like precision. And though my parents and sibs would laugh loudly at these accusations about me, they hurt! And their truth rang loud. The fact is, I often give way to others (including the teenage offender mentioned above). I have found that fighting and arguing just don't work although I was raised with true masters in those arts. Being nice isn't exactly the worst thing I've been accused of in my life! Why stomp on others just to save face or maintain my own self proclaimed dignity? The "higher road" always looked more attractive to me anyhow. So, the fact is, when push comes to shove, I just roll with it. But the impression to others apparently is that I just "roll over". That's where the respect part of this all comes in. At what point do you "let it all go" without also letting go of an important part of yourself? I suspect that not only do we all draw these lines of self-respect differently, but that where we draw them changes constantly as we grow, learn and mature. Also, for me, where I draw the lines of respect changes hourly depending on how tired I am and whether I am in the throes of PMS or menopause. So what's the answer? At this moment, I say let it selfishly lie with what you feel in your heart or in your gut. If you're OK with it, good! If others have a problem with how you draw the line of respect and dignity, TOUGH! They'll just have to deal. Respect for me all originates with how I see myself. And isn't that really where our identity begins? Respect is officially defined as the condition of being esteemed or honored; It's also the sense of the worth of excellence of a person. I'm good with that. I'm also good with rolling over at times when a certain teenager isn't being disrespectful. And when they are, taking away the use of a certain cell phone and car might just be the ticket to returning me to my own healthy level of self respect. So, Dear Readers, today I'm asking you to look at how "respect" operates in your life. Do you have plenty of it yourself? Do you give respect out generously to others? Does hearing Aretha's anthem make you shake your fists? How have you demanded (or failed to demand) respect in the past when it was lacking? I think these are interesting questions that relate directly to our identities. Hope your day is, well, a respectful one. Lauren Posted 2:30 p.m.