Monday, September 13, 2010
Being Alone
OK, most you know my husband's in India for the week, so I'm doing the solo parent thing. This shouldn't be that big of a deal for me. He travels a lot. And I've spent the vast majority of my life alone. I'm the youngest of five kids, and there's seven years between me and the closest sib. I didn't have a "partner in crime" to buddy up with, beat up, share secrets with or otherwise terrorize when I was growing up. I spent a lot of time all alone in our house when I was little because my mom always worked or was in college. I even wore a key to our house around my neck in elementary school because I often got myself on the bus and came home alone. I was a "latch key" kid before we even knew what that was. So, I often admire and am jealous of the bond my kids have with each other since all four of them are only two years apart from their closest sib. Also, my husband is in the middle of nine kids who were born with in a span of only 12 years. They are all very close, and that is a big part of his personality. So, I guess I've always kind of seen myself as a "loner", and I've been just fine with that. Until now. Working at home these last two days, I'm feeling empty and lonely. There are lots of friends I can call or e-mail or FB. I could set up lunch dates, movie nights or drinks with the girls. But this is a different feeling. It's emptier, and it feels even "lost". Hmmm. I'm not sure what that's really all about, since being alone really is my status quo. Perhaps its the fact that the kids just got back to school and the task of juggling their four schedules already has me exhausted. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't taken the time to look after my own needs for quite some time. Maybe the person I'm really lonely for is... Lauren. Wow! So, Dear Reader, why not take a moment and see how you deal with being alone? Is it a relief? Does it cause you to feel uncomfortable or anxious? Those things are all worth noticing on this journey to find oneself. Hope your "alone" time is wonderful. Calgon, take me away!!! Love, Lauren
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I seem to spend most of my time alone now since we started moving every few years. I used to love being with people. Now I find I have little tolerence for all the gossip and nit-picking I hear when I am with people. Even when I try to steer the conversation away from complaining and gossip, it doesn't take long for the group I'm with to get back to it, so I just stay to myself and keep quiet.
ReplyDeleteOne of the major paradigm shifts for me is knowing the difference between being alone and being lonely. I am alone most of the time, but when I get too lonely that is when I reach out.