The Job: Defining ourselves through our work

I know someone who has recently been forced to retire for health reasons. You may think that they're lucky. But what if they have loved their work for the past 55 years? What if they personally flourished in their medical practice without one single malpractice claim, and they always thought they would work up until the very day they died? What if they are a "healer" who is now relinquished to hospital beds, speculative procedures and a total loss of control over their entire life? I would say that they indeed were lucky to have had such a direct, clear and satisfying pathway to their vocation for so many years. But at the same time, I also shed tears for this person as I know their identity is truly shattered. Now I don't agree for one minute that our careers or jobs are our identities. Our career or job is what we do. Like our names, they reflect one aspect of our identities. But it's important to look at what degree we allow the job to dominate who we are. I suspect this question can be answered quite differently by everyone. I have lived my whole life in Michigan which has had the highest rate of unemployment in the entire nation for some time now. I also live in the county that has the highest unemployment rate in this state. Everyone I know here is either unemployed, afraid of losing their job, or intimately connected to someone who has lost their job. And it's been that way here for some time now. And though I don't really like to make gender distinctions, I have to admit that it appears that this issue is particularly devastating to men. It likely has to do with seeing themselves as the "family bread winner" or "provider". There's an identity for you! So for a man, losing their career or job is not just losing a paycheck. It's absolutely emasculating. That's a tragedy. I remember when I changed my major from pre-med to communications during my sophomore year in college. My parents were so disappointed. And while I was braced for that, I didn't anticipate the feeling of emptiness that would accompany that very important and crucial change in my education. After all, saying that you're "going to med school" is a pretty heady thing that can be kind of hard to give up. And then after graduation when I decided to apply to law school, I was shaken by the immediate and shallow prestige that was showered on me. People were already saying that I was a lawyer, and I hadn't even taken the LSAT or filled out any applications. I wasn't any better of a person than when I had switched my major two years earlier. But to the world, I was suddenly "somebody". Ouch! Now that I am a stay at home mom of four, I am amazed at how many people think I'm a "nobody". If you only read one sentence from this blog, PLEASE READ THIS: You are SO MUCH MORE than your career or your job. They make up merely one aspect of your choices in activity, education, growth, opportunity and personal taste. Hopefully your work makes you very happy. But if it was stripped away from you this minute, you would STILL be the most valuable, exquisite and unique person ever. And that, Dear Readers, can never be taking away from you. Have a ball today! Enjoy the work you have left to do. I hope you come back tomorrow. Lauren