Chilling Out

My to-do list grew exponentially before my feet hit even the ground this morning. I must do a heck of a lot of sorting, processing and organizing when I sleep, because the state of my head is never calm, and rested as I wake up. But as I add that to the list of characteristics that make up Lauren, I have doubts as to whether that subconscious activity is really a good thing. I mean, NO WONDER I'm tired all the time! I lack the capacity just to "be". Often my husband will just go out on our porch swing or our deck and sit. Just sit. He just takes in the end of summer, the look of our property and birds and nature around him. And even more importantly, he enjoys it all as he takes it in. Wow! Do I ever slow down enough to enjoy anything? I think the answer is no. I don't enjoy food as I eat, I don't enjoy conversations I engage in, I don't enjoy completing the tasks I'm doing, I don't really enjoy much of anything. And as I lumber along toward the big five-oh!, is it any surprise that I'm feeling panicky and unfullfilled? Again, the answer is no. So, Dear Readers, ask yourself when the last time was that you took a chill pill? Was it just a spontaneous moment during and average day, or did you have to be on vacation in a remote location in a foreign country? And how often do you allow yourself the luxury of just "being"? I think I'm starting to understand why it is that those who meditate are happier in life. Hope your day is "enjoyable". Lauren