I just realized what control freak I am. I belong to an adult School of Rock class at a local music studio, and all summer we had a date for our final concert during which I will demonstrate my newly acquired Jaggar-like skills as lead singer. Last week, our teacher realized that she also has a gig on that date, and our concert was rescheduled for this Friday. This Friday?!? My husband is in India till Saturday. My two oldest kids are playing in marching band for the biggest annual high school rival football game in the county that same night. None of my other relatives are available either. (Explicative in CAPS!) When we showed up for a practice the day after Labor Day, our teacher forgot she had scheduled it. Disappointed!! Now, our teacher is awesome, and I really like her a lot personally. But screw ups like this drive me nuts! With four kids in school and my husband out of the country, my life is scheduled down the the minute. Stretched this thin, I work hard to do it all, but my best estimate is that I will run at about 90 percent accuracy. There will be forgotten basketball uniforms, lost lunch slips, and unpaid field trips. That's a given. But again, I work hard to get all the accuracy I can. I just don't understand those that don't put any effort into coordinating their life but who expect the world to just "deal" with their mistakes.
Growing up, I had a very disorganized family environment. Organizing things was the one way for me to take control and add some sense to my crazy, confusing existence. And so I did this from a very early age. I really didn't think that this was an important part of my identity, but I guess it is.
Two weeks ago we buried my brother's ashes. My mom scheduled this ceremony with the cemetery and let everyone know when it was. Period. That's it. "Well, what are we going to do at the cemetery?" I asked. She shrugged. Leaving this thing open-ended didn't bother her in the least. But I will tell you it deprived me of sleep! After all, we had relatives traveling in from Arizona for this thing. There was no official or priest or anything set up to guide us along. When I asked her about that little fact, again, my mom shrugged. It was as if to say, "Oh, well. I don't know". But she knew. She knew full well that I would swoop in and organize it all. And just as if it was scripted in a movie, I spent countless hours researching what the heck one does when they bury a loved one's ashes. It took me no less than 4 hours on-line to finally dig up a ceremony on a UK web site. I found out the Roman Catholic Church's take on such things. I found lots of prayers and readings for each and every one of my family members so they could take part in the ceremony. And I had it all printed out neatly for them to deliver orally on the day in question. (Those with longer roles got theirs by e-mail.) Wow, my family said to me, you're really organized. Oh, I guess I am, I said (light bulb going off). Organization. It's one of my best qualities. It helps me sleep at night.
We just had all of my family over our house since everyone was in town. Being unable to host it themselves, one relative wanted to do all the food. I agreed. Then with the writing on the wall (I know this person's history!), I made sure there was plenty of food and drinks available in case their part of the deal fell through. Like clockwork, this person waltzed into my house an hour after everyone else got there with arm fulls of groceries ready to cook. I smiled. I may be compulsive, but in cases like this, it can be handy! That night, I also slept well.
When I chair a school fundraiser, it's organized within an inch of its life. The principal knows this. I will spend hours mulling over lists of volunteers, supplies, food, and tasks. Organization. It's just what I do. The term "co-dependent" also comes to mind. But either way, it's me. And it's undeniable. So, dear readers, take a moment and assess how well organized you are. Now, I'll admit that my house is not so organized. My closets need a major Oprah intervention! But when it comes to organizing events, calendars and communication, I'm your girl (OK, denial working there..,woman!). And that's a good thing to admit about oneself. See ya soon! Lauren
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My girls think I am a crazy person for wanting a level of organization in my house, in my life and in their lives. They seem to be disorganized in direct rebellion to my organization. I spend more time worrying about their lack of organization than they do. I just hope that when they are on their own osmosis will have worked and they will see the benefit of keeping track of calendars, items and their lives. Andy....PS the previous post if from me as well, I'm not sure why is says Star in the "from" section.
ReplyDeleteI think my kids purposely fail to organize their lives because they know I will eventually do it for them if they leave it long enough. This whole applying for college thing is driving me crazy!
ReplyDeleteOh Lauren, you don't know how many times I have been pushed to the brink of violence with the thought of them being disorganized because I will pick up the slack. And then when I disinigrate into a screaming crazy woman because of their disorganization they look at me like it's my fault. Then I go into the "fine if that's the way you want to live your life" mode and totally back off from reminders, picking up after, and all around "mom do you know where my...is" guilt drowns me until I start all over again! Yikes...I need a change in my cycle!
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